How do I get him back?

My husband got a job in some other country 1 year ago through one of his friend. They both used to work in the same company but gradually the feiend started feeling threatened and started ignoring him. Six month later he shifted his family to the country he was working in and tried to convince my husband to do so as well. My husband had lot of financial issues so he claims he cant do so for atleast another year.unfortunately the day my husband leaseda car for himself on instalments he came to know the company shall close down in another three months. The company reducd his salary by 20%. and finally after three months it closed down. Due to all this stress he avoided talking to me on phone, skype or net. Even if we used to talk he used to fight all the time. Hre used to visit us once in two months,but his parents and brother were in another station so we spent most of our time travelling .Daughter 15 and son 12 , didn't have sex for months as he used to be angry at all times.8 months passed by.His fiend called me up and ocassionally tried to help as he felt he was responsible for the situation that I was suffering from. i always felt that he was like an elder brother, who want to bring us back together. My married life was never too smooth as it was an arranged marriage and he initially liked someone else.His parentsand brother didnt like me after marriage. too please them he always used to give me no importance and even redicuiled me. Initially he forced himself ontomr the first night and many consecutive nights and later when i tried to accept it thye way he liked ,he suddenly stated changing. He used to seduce and then avoid sex saying that he is practicing self control. Sleeping on the same bed we never had sex for months. In these 17 years of married life I have had 7 missed abortins and he was never there when i went to the doctor for my DNC's as he never had time . He is a workaholic. His friend often used to visit our city and used to call frequently.Eventhough my parents and brother were living in the same city but they hardly were ever available for any support. I work in a bank from 9:00 to 5:00.Now I have developed multiple minor ailment due to stress.Gradually I started feeling comfortable talking about all my problems to his friend.I felt that he was the only person tslking to me and shoeing any concern. Often when iwas sick or needed emotioal support my husband would not pick up my calls or scold me by saying get lot and go to hell. He used to send money which was just enough to cover our basic need ,all my salary is also spent fot a comfortable living.His friend has gradually developed a liking for me and appreciates me ang is always there for me when ?I am upset . He always suggests me ways in which I can do something to save my marriage and bring my husband back.Three months ago he came to our city and wanted to meet me.I went to see him at the hotel and he expressed his feeling of liking for me,and requested me to have a secret relationship with him without letting any one else know (He says he dint imply a physical relationship).His wife was also my good friengd . I told him that I just respected him as a saviour and do not have a feeling of attraction towards him. He said that I was always on his mind and he feels emotionally attached as well as physically attracted towards me. I felt extremely uncomfortable at that very moment and just went back home.Later when I called him he ignored me completely . He said I misunderstood his feelings and he felt very bad. He now avoids talking and doesnt even answer my messages. I know feel that if I dont talk to him I will die. I sometimes also feel that mabe I also have somekind of a liking for this person. My husband knows everything that has happened uptill know. He hates him and also sent him a message that he was disappointed to know all of this. Irespected this man and feel that i cant imagine a life without his support. Since three months he has hardl answered any of my messages and I feel he is avoiding me. If he doesnt talk to me I wont be able to survive ,since it feels something is dead inside me.I feel extremely heart broken. Want to end up my marriage as well as my life.