I think i'm depressed because I have no friends and never go out.?

Here is my situation. I am 19 years old and my best friend and I are trying desperately to move to New York because that's just where we need to be in life. inding an aprtment is proving to be more difficult than we had anticipated. I had already tried once before to get up there and it backfired on me, and now this. I just feel like nothing is going right for us. She lives in a whole nother state than me, too. In fact, throughout our entire friendship we have only actually been together two years out of the seven. I know she's a tru friend which is why I am trying to live with her. But in the meantime I am stuck at home with nothing to do. Because of my trip up North after graduation I ahve become seperated from all fot he people I used to hang out with. I only have two friends who live around me and I don't see them very often. I can't get a job because I am supposed to be moving very soon and since it is summer I don't go to school. I am home all fo the time and talk to my best friend daily, sometimes hourly. But it still doesn't make me feel any better. I feel like giving up, I feel worthless, I am actually coming to hate myself because I can't readily understand why I never go out. I have been trying to spend time with my parents before I leave them, because I amextremely close to them but when I do there is always this little voice in the back of my head saying what a loser I am spending nights with my parents and family. I just feel like a complete loser and I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of crying over it every night. I'm sick of feeling this way but I can't seem to stop it from sneaking up and surprising me. Tonight I just felt so lonely, I didn't even have anyone to text because the other two friends were asleep and I feel like I am such a loser because I only really have two people to text and talk to with the exception of my best friend. And I write for a fashion magazine so during the weekdays I have work to do for that, which means it is harder for me to go out with my friends then and then on the weekend my grandoa or dad or mom always asks me to stay home and how can i say no when I am getting ready to leave? Meanwhile, I see all of these other girls living their lives to the fullest with all these great people and I feel like mine is wasting away. I'm sorry I am babling now. I just don't know what to do aymore. There are often times I rarely get out fo the house, like for a week straight! I can't handle it.